So you’ve got involved with someone from Yorkshire, and you’re so confused, you’re wondering if there’s some kind of mythology course about people from the region. There isn’t, but if anything was close, it’d probably be this article. Written by Yorkshire folk themselves, here’s everything you need to know about dating someone from Yorkshire.
1. We’re as tight as they come
If you were expecting roses from your Yorkshire beau, you probably needed this article much sooner than now. Us Yorkshire folk are as tight as they come. If it’s gonna die next week, it’s probably a waste of money. If we can get it cheaper on Amazon, best believe, that’s what we’ll be doing. After all, our presence is the real gift.
2. Affection? What’s that mean?
Yorkshire folk tend to be much more familiar with tough love, and for the most part, that sloppy lovey dovey stuff makes us gag. Not only that, but have you ever heard sexy talk in a Yorkshire accent? No, and there’s good reason for it too. There’s nothing sexy about hearing “Orrr yer bebeh gi’ it to mi, will yer?”
3. We’re made up about the little things
Yorkshire folk are happiest with just the simple things in life. Give us a pint or a brew by surprise, and we promise we’ll be the happiest people alive. We’ll also expect you to be the same, so probably forget about that fancy bag you were after – your partner’s in the kitchen brewing up thinking it’s the nicest thing anyone’s done since Mother Teresa’s day.
4. We tend to be very sociable
Expect to be down the pub a lot with friends, cos us Yorkshire folk absolutely love a good knees up. Sure, we’ll enjoy date nights alone, too, but if you can get on with our mates and get in on the fun, we’ll love you all the more.
Buy us a pint, and you’ll have a lover for life, drink us under the table and we’ll marry you there and then.
5. Fancy is a foreign language
We’re pretty well-grounded people here in Yorkshire, so don’t expect fancy 24/7. In fact, in some cases, don’t expect it at all. Our local kebab shop makes us just as happy as any posh meal, and the majority of us can’t pronounce ‘bonjour’ very well, never mind speak the Queen’s English.
6. Expect to be taken the piss out of often
So when we say we don’t show affection, sarcasm is our second language, and I guess our constant taking the piss out of loved ones is probably our way of displaying love.
You might wonder why we keep making fun of you or calling you names, but we promise it’s a good sign. We only do this to people we like, as strange as that sounds.
7. We love our home, and no where else comes close
Sure, we’ll travel and visit new places, but you’ll probably notice a lack of enthusiasm and descriptions of ‘its alright’. It’s not that we don’t like anything, we do, we just only show enthusiasm for Yorkshire. It’s a similar rule to the displays of affection. We feel it on the inside, but on the outside – not so much.
One thing to note about dating a Yorkshire person, if you don’t show love for our wonderful, green countryside, it’s probably not gonna last very long. And if you’re a Southerner and point out that we’re missing something that you have down South, expect to be dumped. We’re not missing anything.
8. You’ll only get one cup of tea in our house
There’ll be none of that PG Tips nonsense up North. It’s one brand and one brand only where we’re from – and that’s Yorkshire Tea. Like it or lump it, it’s what you’ll be served, so you’re best off accepting it with a big grin on your face.
9. We have gravy on everything
Hearty cuisine is held dear to us Yorkshire folk, and we absolutely bloody love gravy. We pretty much put it on anything. Pastries, chips, pancakes… You name it, we’ve probably finished it off with gravy once or twice.
It’s the perfect accompaniment to any beige food, so if you’re dating one of us, it’s time to get on board. Especially with chips and gravy.
10. We speak our own language
You probably already know ahead of getting involved with your beloved Yorkshire person – but in case you needed a reminder, we speak our own language here. Most words have multiple meanings, for example, we’ll say ‘reyt’ when we’re getting up to leave a room, ‘be reyt’ when we feel something will be alright.
And we’ll even shorten most words in the English vocabulary – if not just miss them out completely. It’s probably more complex than learning how to speak Spanish, but we’re sure you’ll understand us eventually.
11. It’s tea, not dinner
If you use the word ‘dinner’ to describe your evening meal, remove it from your vocabulary ASAP. There’s no arguing with a Northerner about it. No matter how much they love you, they’d probably rather bin you than have to call it ‘dinner’. Lunch is ‘dinner’ and dinner is ‘tea’. Don’t even get me started on the bloody bread debate.
12. If you don’t like Yorkshire Puddings, you’re doomed
One final important factor when getting involved with anyone from Yorkshire… If you don’t like Yorkshire puddings, it’s just not gonna last. While most families around the country will have a roast dinner on Sundays, they’re pretty frequent meals for Yorkshire folk – so don’t be surprised by the suggestion of a mid-week Toby Carvery or a lovely homemade roast with Yorkshire puds on a Tuesday. The little heavenly treats aren’t just reserved for roast dinners either, we’ll have them with any gravy dish, from toad in the holes to cottage pies – we’ll probably have a couple of Yorkies on the side.
So that’s it, in a nutshell. There’s lots to know, but most importantly, Yorkshire folk are some of the loveliest people in the world, so if you’ve bagged yourself one you’re very lucky indeed. But we’re serious about the Yorkshire tea and gravy rules.
13. We don’t suffer fools gladly
If you’re getting on our tits, we’ll let you know. We don’t mince our words in Yorkshire – so don’t take it personally if we tell you it straight.
As long as your alright, we’ll be alright.
14. We have short arms and deep pockets
Yorkshire men buy there wedding suits with short arms and deep pockets not that where tight with money just careful.
[Featured image: Unsplash]