There’s a lot of things that can go wrong when making a Yorkshireman a cup of tea. As some of the biggest tea drinkers around the world, they are somewhat experts on the sacred brew. But we don’t want to discuss all the boring reasons about what makes a good brew… What we really want to do is get it straight about what makes a great brew for proper Yorkshire folk. So sit back, put yer feet up and get someone to stick the kettle one. Here’s the biggest mistakes you’re making when brewing up that if fixed will allow you to make a proper Yorkshire brew.
It was recently noted that you are seen as more attractive to the opposite sex if you can make a proper brew. So, take note and make sure you work on upping your tea skills, and you never know it could just get you a life partner. What are the things that you think make the perfect brew? Let us know how you like it!
1. Using anything other than Yorkshire’s finest…
Let’s start strong, if your using anything besides Yorkshire Tea, you’ve done it wrong already. If you’re trying to please a Yorkshireman, you best be giving the best tea bag in the whole of the land… Harrogate’s own. And if you dare give us Lancashire Tea, you’ll be chased back over the county boarder.
2. Using water that dint come oft God’s Own Country
For anyone outside of Yorkshire, we feel for you. All you poor sods have to put up with water that’s not Yorkshire. It’s not your fault, we’re not all perfect. For you lot getting to sip a brew made with Yorkshire’s finest, enjoy – it doesn’t get any better than this.
3. Drowning it wi’ too much milk
If it ain’t the colour of brick or darker, it ain’t no good. There isn’t anything worse than a milky brew – so make sure that you don’t go heavy on the milk, or you’ll have an unhappy Yorkshireman on your hands, and we’re mardy enough to begin with.
4. Putting t’ milk in first
We’ve not heard of anything worse than the idea of putting the milk in yer brew first. Anyone who says otherwise is an amateur. And that’s us being polite. Get it right first time: tea bag, water and milk (sugar for the soft lads).
5. Using scolding water
This one’s straight from the tea experts themselves, apparently our Karen says it ruins it – so I’ve stuck to it, but I will let you argue that one.
6. Not forgetting ’bout the first brew and going back and meckin’ anuther
Which leads us to our penultimate one. If you don’t make a brew at least once a day that is forgotten about, are you really Yorkshire? Tip your flat cap to all the forgotten brews out there that have been poured down the sink.
7. Not letting it stew, or at least givin’ it a good squeeze with teaspoon
If you’ve not got third-degree burns from squeezing the tea bag with your thumb on the teaspoon to get the last drip of tea into your mug, you’re not doing it right. You need to be risking life and limb for the perfect Yorkshire brew!