England loves a shithole and apparently, the government thought it’d be best if most of the shitholes were stuck up North in good ol’ Yorkshire. We’re proud of our crap cities, and it seems like it’s a good job and all – as a lot of them have made the cut for this year’s top 10 worst places to live in the UK list. Eek!
The survey is carried out each year by ilivehere.co.uk, and this year a massive 80,172 visitors voted on their worst place to live in England 2020, which is nearly double last years vote of 42,572.
Now, every Yorkshire person knows that we are far better than the rest of the UK. God crafted every yard of his own country, so if he wanted some parts to be absolute shitholes, who are we to argue?
Here are the top 10 worst places to live (apparently):
10. Halifax
Halifax has the gorgeous Piece Hall, and… well, the bank. Ranking at number 10 this year, this is actually Halifax’s debut to the list, and we would personally like to congratulate them. It seems that lockdown must have really given them time to think about how shit the town is. So congratulations, and welcome to the list Halifaxers.
One local who voted Halifax onto the list said: “I soon realised that I would need an interpreter in Halifax as the locals spoke only in grunts and squints”. Ouch.
9. Stoke-On-Trent
8. Wakefield
Shakey Wakey has managed to stay out of the top 10 for some time now, but it’s officially crept up on them, and they’ve hit the charts hard coming in at number 8. Home to the indie band The Cribs, here’s what people had to say about good ol’ Wakey:
“I can’t stress how bad this place is. Little 9 year olds telling you to f#ck off when you are waiting at the 9-year-olds people crammed into a small sh*tty car all with snapbacks on with a smirk-ish grin on their faces, etc etc etc. Need I go on.”
“My favourite thing about Wakefield is Westgate Railway Station – the gateway out of the place.”
7. Keighley
As you can tell, the list is pretty Yorkshire heavy this year. Keighley is another debut in the list, and the place is what some would call ‘the fat mate you hit on after Bradford turns you down in Revs’. It’s most famed for the bloke who played Chewbacca in Star Wars, which is ironic as most of the birds apparently resemble good ol’ Chewy, too. Savage.
6. Nottingham
5. Rotherham
Well done Rotherham, you’ve managed to get shitter this year, moving up the list to 5th worst place to live in the UK. What a great achievement, it was a team effort so congrats to all 200,000 of you for pushing Rotherham to great heights.
4. Rochdale
3. Huddersfield
Unlucky Huddersfield, the 2018 winners have missed just the mark this year. But bronze is nothing to be ashamed of. 2nd place last year means Huddersfield may be slowly getting better… Or that residents of Huddersfield are too depressed to even vote this year. Who knows? There was one plus from the survey, however, with one local saying: “Not all of Huddersfield is bad… just 70% of it.”
That 30% is the best you’ll ever see though…
[It’s not all bad news for Huddersfield: BrewDog & Red’s True BBQ Are Teaming Up To Open A New Bar In Huddersfield]
2. Doncaster
Not only has it made it onto the worst places in the UK list again, up two places from last year, but Donny is also getting its own Monopoly game – so you can go round the board pointing out how shit places are. But let’s be honest, you could probably buy the whole of Doncaster after passing go. I’m allowed to say it, I’m from there.
Here’s what Donny folk said to expect if you ever go on a night out there: “Watch as the local beauties, flabby flesh pouring out from over tight short skirts. Ageing 50 somethings in kids gear trying to look like Brittany Spears… a GOD AWFUL sight”
PHHWOOAARRR.
1. Peterborough
At this point – all we can say is a round of applause to Hull for staying out of the list this year. We are all very proud of you, but let’s hope you come back for the gold for East Yorkshire next year.
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