Us Yorkshire folk love a good joke. So we’ve put together four classic Yorkshire jokes that everyone should know. Perfect for your next trip to the pub with your mates.
As we all know, if it’s not from Yorkshire, it’s s****. So enjoy these few jokes to help you get through the rest of your day.
1. The Yorkshire farmer
A farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts: “Ey up cock! Tha dun wanna be drinkin’ watta frm theer, it’s full o hoss piss an’ cow shite”.
The bloke says: “I’m from London, can you speak a bit slower please?”
The farmer replies: “If – you – use – two – hands – you – won’t – spill – any”
2. Barnsley man with piles
A bloke from Barnsley with piles asks the chemist: “Na then lad, does tha sell arse cream?”
The chemist replies: “Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?”
3. Copper wire
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the French: in the weeks that followed, American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 feet before finding traces of copper wire. Shortly afterwards, they published an article in the New York Times saying : “American archaeologists, having found traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the French.”
A few weeks later, ‘The British Archaeological Society of Northern England’ reported the following: “After digging down to a depth of 33 feet in the Skipton area of North Yorkshire in 2011, Charlie Hardcastle, a self-taught amateur archaeologist, reported that he had found absolutely f&*% all. Charlie has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless.”
4. Yorkshireman goes to the vet
A man from Barnsley goes to the vet.
The vet says: “I hear you’ve got a problem with your cat?”
“Aye”, the man replies,
“Is it a tom?”, asks the vet.
“No”, the man says, “I brought it wi me…”